**Beware this is a pretty angry blog!**
Jess-ism: If your relationship problems with someone take longer than 5 minutes to explain, kick this person out of your bed and move the fuck on here! Nothing should be this complicated.
Honestly,? Relationships should not be? super complicated. They should be simple. Fun. Easy. Yes, emotions can make things a bit more interesting but you shouldn?t have this EPIC soap opera saga going on in your love life from the beginning. Lesbians are CLASSIC for the pathetic aka Jerry Springerish Relationship! Just jumping into drama without looking if? this situation is right for them! Having Long drawn out pathetic stories or random complicated bullshit that just needs to end!!!!!!! Sometimes too much is too much??.
Your partner shouldn?t be cheating on you with your? mother or sister.
You don?t need to move in with a hoe only after two weeks of dating the bitch!
Your new lover shouldn?t? be fighting with your baby daddy, family, etc.
Your lover shouldn?t checking your phone, going thru your pockets, following you to work, logging on to your emails, trying to ?honey trap? you,? and checking in with you every 5 minutes!
You shouldn?t have ?lesbian bed death? after 2 months of dating?.
You shouldn?t be dealing with a bitch that doesn?t have any other career aspirations but to work at McDonald?s and/or just to sit on your couch and eat.
You don?t need to date every woman that hits on you!
You don?t need to jump from relationship to relationship. Serial monogamous are insecure pieces of shit that need to learn to love themselves and embrace being alone.
Getting married to a bitch after only knowing them for less than 6 months is unacceptable!
As a feminine lesbian, you shouldn?t be catering to some butch/AG/wanna-be man?s needs, he/she is a grown woman/man? get a job, get a life, and learn how to cook your own dinner!
You don?t need to be dealing with a hoe with three kids by three different baby daddies.
If A girl doesn?t have a job, isn?t putting out, and she is STILL demanding diva shit, kick her ass out!
No, you should not be fucking your sister best friend?s? mom!
No, It?s not ok to move across the country for some hoe you never met before in person!
No, you shouldn?t stay with a chick that threatened to stab you!
No, you shouldn?t fuck your brother?s girlfriend, move in with her, and then drop her for her cousin.
No, you shouldn?t stalk your ex!
Just no.
No.
No!!!!!!!!!
Example of MORE Lesbian BULLSHIT (from a lesbian dating site):
?My qirl(stem) & i(bi) have been toqether qoin on 2yrs this Auq. she?s 32 im 23. it seems like it was love at first sight. we moved into our relationship very quickly.. we met, she went back to her hometown for a month, she came back to my hometown asked mee to leave with her.. within 2weeks of he bein back, i told her yes. in the process of mee wantinq to bee with her ive lost my son due to my mothers lies an i quess unapproval of my being bisexual, im now workinq aqain but at the time quit my job & pretty much dropped & left everythinq behind.. ive always known my qirl was close with her family, not always but now more than ever. she has this weird relationship with her couisin that i had to look more into based on vibes i had. i went throuqh her phone & to make a very lonq story short?? they?re in love?.. (my qirl & her cousin & im the only one other than them to actually know about it) when i asked my qirl about it she kinda told mee bits and pieces and also claimed that she had mentioned to mee before that she had some awkward feelinqs for her cousin that they both knew was wronq & toqether they?re tryinq to work on it, she also claims that they were never sexual just mentally.. i thouqht about if she had mentioned anythinq before about it & she did.. but as i remember correctly she told mee at a time were i was so infactuated with her that i quess it went in one ear & out the other & in such a way that i wouldnt stop to think about what she told me.. ive had lots of issues with her & that includinq her cousin and i actually qetn into a physical fiqht? over time shes told mee that its nothinq to worry about & that she loves mee & wants to bee with me & we?re doin major future planninq & doinqs, but yet they send naked pictures, write poems, tell eachother how much they love each other, i qet called by my name or babe sometimes but her cousin is always called mami or by her nickname ?bella? witch means beautiful. i love my qirl so ive talked to her, arqued with her, cried to her & even fauqht with her to qet understand how i feel & where im commin from. she tells mee im putn more onto it than it seems.. every time i come home from work they on the phone, qoin from bein madd loud to wisperin & code talkin. when we first qot toqether she always wanted mee to answer her fone & text ppl back for her.. but now she dont want me even answerinq the fone, its always an issue kuz its seems like theres always somethinq in there i have an issue with. this whole ordeal has litterally mentally mindfucked me. since day one that i found out about it, it seems like i cant qet it off my mind.
Beyond constantly stressin off my son & the thinqs that i have to do and dont want to do in order to qet him back, somethinq tells mee everyday that somethin aint riqht about that situation. & it makes it very hard to be romantic, or show affection, or even be sexual (on top of the fact that thats just never been my thing [dont like to b touched]). my sex drive is qon completely (another thinq killin us.. im 23 i NEED sex!!!!) & this wholoe thinq is jus fuckinq mee mentally physically & emotionally & idk wt to do. it also has us just not seein eye to eye about everythinq, we can never meet in the middle or even aqree to disaqree.
im out here by myself, no friends, no family, workinq and qoinq to school dam near full time, brain on over load & always always runnin behind her. ino she has a love for me & she does care, . but i dont wna feel second to anyone & ino thats family and family qon always come first but thats on a whole different level than a relationship. every time i tell her i want to move out she talk madd shit & tell me to leave. ive packed my shit soo many times & as soon as i attempt to step my pretty toes out the door she stops & beqs and pleads. & i stay. weve tried everythinq except separatinq. she says if u love some1 u shouldnt have to leave them to love em.. but i say some ppl like myself function better with their own space, & in their own wolrd.. im qoin to stop now.. help mee.. I feel like love is killinq me slowly & has become a burden.?
MY ANSWER?..
WTF WAS THAT SHIT!?!?!?!?!?
Learn how to read, write, spell, whatever, go back to school, bitch!
Secondly, its just so damn complicated, why do we have to let all these motherfuckers invade our relationships!?! Why are we putting up with this EPIC bullshit?!?!?! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!
And why do all lesbians gotta have some epic kid drama also invading the situation?!?! Handle your business with the kids first, this should not be interfering with your dyke stupid love if you are not married and you just met this bitch on the street!!!
I just discovered a new lesbian trend this weekend:? Lesbians are cheating on their chicks with dudes, fucking homeboys without condoms and shit and then getting knocked up. This isn?t cute! This is drama! USE A FUCKING CONDOM!!!! If you want a kid, get some sperm don?t risk getting HIV to do it! I am all about sexuality being fluid but this is RIDIC!!!!
Thirdly, What is a fucking STEM!?!?! We have a enough labels in the lesbian community! Why do we need another one here?!?!?
Honestly, listening to lesbian drama is just annoying and pathetic and gives me a fucking headache. The drama in the lesbian community? is just sad, and makes me hate being a member of such a RIDIC community. We are so trashy.
Are lesbians trashy because they are broke bitches????????
I am sorry but most of the lesbian community doesn?t make? or have any money. Why?
1. Lesbians are drawn to professions that don?t make any damn money, hoes want to save the world and shit BUT they are clueless on how to really do this Because you can?t CHANGE the world. Sorry! And we lack the proper education to even go about making effective small changes!? Dumb pieces of shit!
2. Most lesbians are fat or hideous and they can?t get dick, so they turn to women. And the women they turn to are equally as pathetic as them which means having no damn money.
3. On the real? Sexism is a big reason.
4. Today, it takes two people to run a successful household and most lesbians are single and single bitches can?t afford shit.
5. Lesbians are clueless pieces of shit, lacking in education, and motivation to improve their situations. Every fucking lesbian wants to be a ?Filmmaker? but they don?t even have a BASIC understanding of how to make an actual film. Wanna-be ?Artists? and shit.
6. Butch women don?t know how to work for someone else. Wanna run shit, but again lacking in the education to get there because most of them come from lower class situations but yet still feel entitled for shit like they shouldn?t have to work for anyone else because they are ?the man!?? I don?t get it?.? If you wanna get ahead, you gotta conform/assimilate/work for ?the man?? This means leaving the baggy pants and over-sized t-shirts at home, boo! You have to crawl before you can walk. Even ?real men? that make money now had to work for someone else, invest time and energy into a company, and fight their way to the top! Nobody just handles you a CEO position, boo!
Honestly,? I think we have way more Jerry Springer drama as a community than the straights! I think if we look at the numbers (and let?s say the numbers of straights and lesbians in this world were the same)? we would find LESS happy/healthy/normal lesbian relationships than the straight community!
The lesbian community is just pathetic and we need to grow up! I have done my studies about sexuality. I know that when you first come out you are like a teenager again, not able to control your emotions, lacking in the basic understanding of how to handle a real relationship.
I know the?Gay/Lesbian Identity Development Process??. http://studentdevelopmenttheory.wordpress.com/gender-and-sexuality/
STAGE 1: Identity Confusion ? Characterized by feelings of turmoil, in which one questions previously held assumptions about one?s sexual orientation. EX. Who the fuck am I? ? Accept, Deny, Reject.
Example: Will avoid information about lesbians and gays; inhibit behavior; deny homosexuality (?experimenting,? ?an accident,? ?just drunk?). Fags: May keep emotional involvement separate from sexual contact; Dykes: May have deep relationships that are non-sexual, though strongly emotional.
STAGE 2: Identity Comparison ? Characterized by feelings of alienation in which one accepts that possibility of being gay or lesbian and becomes isolated from non-gay others.
Example: May begin to grieve for losses and the things she or he will give up by embracing their sexual orientation i.e. Bitch,? you need to get over the dream of having? the perfect white? house with 2.5 kids and a man bringing home the bacon!? Accepts lesbian, gay definition of behavior but maintains ?heterosexual? identity of self. Believes? ?It?s only temporary?; ?I?m just in love with this particular woman/man? etc.
STAGE 3: Identity Tolerance?- Characterized by feelings of ambivalence in which one seeks out other gays and lesbians but maintains separate public and private images.
Examples:? Beginning to have language to talk and think about the issue.? Sees the difference between self and heterosexuals. Seeks out lesbian and gay culture. May try out variety of stereotypical roles.
This stage is when lesbians all want to become ?butch?? i.e. cutting off their hair, wearing boy clothes, trying to act ?hard?? Just RIDIC shit.
STAGE 4: Identity Acceptance?- Characterized by selective disclosure in which one begins the legitimization (publicly as well as privately) of one?s sexual orientation.
Examples: Accepts gay or lesbian self-identification. May compartmentalize ?gay life?. Maintains less and less contact with heterosexual community. Attempts to ?fit in? and ?not make waves? within the gay and lesbian community. Begins some selective disclosures of sexual identity. More social coming out; more comfortable being seen with groups of men or women that are identified as ?gay?. More realistic evaluation of situation.
STAGE 5: Identity Pride?- Characterized by anger, pride, and activism in which one becomes immersed in the gay subculture and rejects non-gay people, institutions, and values.
Example:? Splits world into ?gay? (good) and ?straight? (bad). Starts hatin? on the straights.?? Identifies gay culture as sole source of support; all gay friends, business connections, social connections.
STAGE 6: Identity Synthesis -?Characterized by clarity and acceptance in which one moves beyond the dichotomized worldview to an incorporation of one?s sexual orientation as one aspect of a more integrated identity.
Example: Continues to be angry at heterosexism, but with decreased intensity. Allows trust of others to increase and build. Gay and lesbian identity is integrated with all aspects of ?self.? Feels all right to move out into the community and not simply define space according to sexual orientation.
*****
I feel a lot of lesbians gets stuck between the Tolerance and Acceptance stages. Why? Positive contact leads to more positive sense of self, negative contact leads to devaluation of the culture, and stops personal growth! And because most lesbians have a NEGATIVE experience with coming out and dealing with images of gay culture this hinders their emotional development. Therefore, most lesbians are children and don?t know how to handle real relationships. Most lesbians are stagnate in their thinking because they haven?t truly development as a person, and/or learned to form a positive and healthy sexual identity.? This is why most lesbians are drama, and lacking in true positive communication. Drama occurs in relationships because of a lack of communication! To communicate effectively you have to be mature and honest with yourself? Most lesbians can?t even spell the word? ?communication.?
Most straights when they are first learning about their sexuality and/or coming out as straight? They have these DRAMATIC relationships, full of emotion, and raging hormones. Remember your relationships in high school? Dramatic shit! Because you didn?t know how to handle love/emotions/understanding AND you didn?t know how to communicate because you weren?t sure of your own feelings and you didn?t know yourself. This is what ALL lesbian relationships are like now. Lacking in maturity and a true analysis of self! Lesbian relationships are stuck in high school! The only way to have a mature lesbian relationship is to grow up, learn about yourself, actively try to communicate with your partner, and learn to accept your gayness, stop listening to your homophobic asshole parents and/or republicans, LOVE YOURSELF.? Get comfortable with your sexuality, its hard I know, but you can do it! If you hate yourself, you can?t love anyone else.
Lesbians also need to understand that sexuality is fluid. Yes, I am a lesbian. But, I am still attracted to men. I would never date a man. But, I still find them attractive. Acknowledging my attraction to men does not make me a BAD lesbian, it makes me a realistic one! I know plenty of straight girls that are attracted to women, plenty of straight men that are attracted to other men. Sexuality is not black or white, its truly a shade of grey!
Anyway, to make a LONG story short? I am sick of the bullshit lesbians! I am not perfect. I? have had my dramatic situations. I have had my unrequited loves, and heartbreaking stories. But, I also know when to get out, move on, and/or just to stay away from drama! Lesbians need to get to the stage of Synthesis. Owning yourself and also embracing the straights! If you want to have a true relationship and get rid of the petty bullshit? You have to self actualize. Get your ducks in a row. Stop playing around with bullshit, and figure out what you want! Don?t try to have a relationship when you can barely feed your kids and put food on the table. Get your shit together first! Take time for yourself!? You also have to grow up and get out of the puppy dog stage. Stop being in high school. Life is not high school! I?ll give a coming out lesbian at ANY age because the stages of lesbian/gay? development? don?t fit into an age box about 2 years of lesbian high school drama. After two years of bullshit, you need to grow up and learn to be adult, work out your issues, and try to have a real relationship. Gossipy bullshit ends? after 2 years of coming out! DONE!
Again, I have my issues. I love chasing after women that don?t want me. Torturing myself over women that don?t even think about me.? I have a problem of just avoiding relationships/rejections because I am deeply scared of intimacy, having my own self esteem issues, and yet I also have a deep fear of being alone. I live a self fulfilling prophecy?. Pushing away people that like me because they don?t meet my ?Standards?, Falling for bitches that don?t want me, and/or? Pushing too hard in the beginning when I like someone and they like me back in order to make them leave me? And when? they do leave or reject me.. Blaming it on them.? Saying to myself ??See I am meant to be alone.? It?s a sick pattern, I can?t seem to shake. But, at least. AT least? I don?t put up with the petty drama. At least all my relationships have been real and true and nothing like the examples I presented in this blog.
In conclusion, Lesbians just need to grow up! Get over their shit and Read a Damn Book!
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Source: http://jlrransom.wordpress.com/2012/07/25/lesbians-need-to-grow-the-fuck-up/
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Every week, Coldfront features 5 upcoming readings in New York City. In addition to local events, this week we encourage you to take a trip outside of the concrete jungle into the wilderness known as upstate.
